How High Performers Learn from Older Generations

Old people possess lifelong lessons that you desperately need, but you often can’t get them. Why?

Perhaps they aren’t skilful enough at communicating their wisdom. Their stories often meander or feel disconnected from today’s struggles.

But what if the problem isn’t only their inability to share, but also our impatience in listening?

Wisdom, after all, doesn’t come neatly packaged.

It’s wrapped in decades of lived experiences that are psychologically messy, culturally tangled, and not always obvious at first glance.

To understand this, try summarising everything you’ve learned about love.

Imagine explaining it to a younger version of yourself—someone 15 years younger. Think about how much you’ve learned in those 15 years.

Now, consider the older, wiser people you meet, those who have lived decades more than you.

How to Uncover Their Wisdom

Here’s what I do when conversing with older teachers to uncover wisdom:

1. Shift from asking for direct advice to seeking stories.

Instead of asking, ‘What should I do about my career now?’ try, ‘What’s the most surprising decision you’ve made in your career?’ Narratives naturally create space for wisdom to emerge.¹You can even learn a lot from normal, ‘unsuccessful’ elders. See Your Life Story: Learning from the ‘Unsuccessful’ in Life.

2. Be genuinely curious.

To me, curiosity isn’t just about asking questions. It’s about listening openly and attentively without interrupting or rushing them. I’ve learned this from observing elite podcast hosts like Joe Rogan conduct their 3-hour interviews. 

3. Look for hidden meaning, not factual answers.

Wisdom is often hidden within lines of code in a complex program. Over time, those lessons refine your thoughts, helping you face challenges in new and unexpected ways.²You can go into the rabbit holes of what scholars consider ‘meaning‘ and ‘facts‘ if you’re interested.

Final Thoughts

Every generation’s lessons are bridges to perspectives we have yet to fully understand. So next time, instead of rushing through a conversation with older people, try slowing down.

Put your phone away. Sit with their stories. Show that their words matter by giving them your full attention.

You might just find that their intricate networks of experience hold the answers you didn’t even know you were seeking.

Notes:

• 1
  You can even learn a lot from normal, ‘unsuccessful’ elders. See Your Life Story: Learning from the ‘Unsuccessful’ in Life.
• 2
  You can go into the rabbit holes of what scholars consider ‘meaning‘ and ‘facts‘ if you’re interested.